Things Parents can do when Siblings Fight
07-09-2015 | Posted By: Admin | 1143 View(s)
Parenting is indeed a strenuous and challenging job, and in each phase, you tend to learn a lot about how to handle it without exerting too much pressure on yourself. Most parents find their Siblings Fight and bullying each other to be one of the most stressful issues to handle and in spite of trying various methods, fail to prevent it.
Many experts and child counsellors in general advice to leave them on their own, and let them settle it amicably among themselves. Although it is better that way, there are instances when this method fails miserably. No matter how much you try to make them get along with each other, the amount of strife and bitter enmity increases and in this way the child who is bullying gets away with all the wrongdoing. In such cases, it is essential to have a parental intervention and help the kids learn social norms to handle conflicts.
Here are few sure shot ways which help you as parents to lessen Siblings Fight and squabbles and increase the feeling of love and camaraderie among the kids.
Stay Calm and Assess the Situation:
When you hear the familiar sounds of a sibling dispute, the first step is to remain calm. Take a moment to assess the situation before intervening. Understanding the cause of the conflict can help you address the root issue rather than just the surface disagreement
Stop comparing
Although it sounds easy to say and difficult to implement, do not ever compare between two siblings or even with other kids. This creates a sense of jealousy and insecurity among them and they indulge in unnecessary fights and strife against each other.
Do not take sides and intervene firmly
Do not get hassled if the children continuously pass snide remarks, make caustic comments or complain about each other. If they are involved in physical brawls, firmly tell them to stop the fight. Never favour one child over the other, this will lead to lots of emotional entanglements and blame games later.
Practice what you preach
Kids, especially young ones, imitate their parents a lot, and therefore set a good example in front of them. Avoid fights with other members of the family, consciously do away with bad habits like swearing or hurling insults at others if you are angry or frustrated. In other words, stay calm. Children are very perceptive. If they notice that you are consciously trying to avoid yelling at them and staying away from threatening or disciplinary punishments, they will mellow down and be more tolerant towards each other.
Encourage Problem-Solving:
Instead of always stepping in as a mediator, empower your children to solve their problems together. Guide them through the process of finding compromises and understanding each other’s perspectives. This not only resolves immediate conflicts but also equips them with valuable problem-solving skills.
Promote Empathy:
Help your children develop empathy by encouraging them to consider each other’s feelings. Ask questions like, “How would you feel if someone did that to you?” Fostering empathy helps siblings relate to each other on a deeper level and reduces the likelihood of future conflicts.
Teach Communication Skills:
Encourage open communication between siblings. Teach them to express their feelings and needs using “I” statements, such as “I feel upset when you take my things without asking.” This approach helps children express themselves without blaming the other person.
Instil good values and teach negotiation skills
This is also of great importance to ensure peace in the household. Always tell them from the beginning that “sharing is caring”, and they have to share things among themselves. Do not put the burden on the elder one saying, “You have to adjust; your brother is small!” Similarly, do not take out all your anger on the younger child to vent your frustrations, simply because he cannot protest. Try to create a balance. Siblings do love each other and want to play together; it is just that they do not know how to channelize the conflicts. Teach them how to come to terms with each other’s demands. If they are ready to listen, give a model solution at the time of conflict itself. Tell them that mom knows better about who first started the fight or who instigated the quarrel in the first place. If you succumb to pressure, it might be possible that they grow up to be bullies or victims depending on the situation they are in. So never buckle under pressure. Always treat both the kids impartially, and in the same way.
Model Healthy Conflict Resolution:
Children learn by example, so demonstrate healthy conflict resolution in your own relationships. Show them that it’s okay to disagree but also emphasize the importance of resolving conflicts peacefully and respectfully.
Celebrate Differences: Encourage a positive view of each child’s unique qualities and strengths. Emphasize that differences are what make each person special, and siblings should appreciate and support each other’s individuality.
Establish Clear Boundaries:
Set clear rules and boundaries for acceptable behavior. Clearly communicate consequences for breaking these rules, and ensure that both siblings understand the expectations. Consistency is key in reinforcing these boundaries.
Individual Quality Time:
Spend quality one-on-one time with each child. Sometimes, conflicts arise due to a need for attention or validation. By giving each child dedicated time and attention, you can address their individual needs and strengthen your bond with them.
Ground rules to get over Siblings Fight
Kids are permitted to show their emotions, and they have a way to express them as well as any other human being. However, this does not give them the liberty to scream at each other or use hurtful, malicious language. To stop siblings fighting and quarrelling against each other, there should be certain undeclared rules in the house- the most important one been treating each other with kindness, honesty and respect. This will assist the child not only to develop empathy and social intelligence but also build impulse control, which will help them in the long run.
Seek Professional Help if Needed:
If sibling conflicts persist and escalate to a point where it affects the well-being of the children or family dynamics, consider seeking professional guidance. A family therapist can provide valuable insights and strategies for addressing deeper issues.
While sibling conflicts are inevitable, they offer valuable opportunities for personal and interpersonal growth. By adopting a proactive and positive approach, parents can turn these moments into valuable lessons, fostering a harmonious family environment where siblings learn to navigate differences and build strong, supportive relationships.
