Defeat Rivalry to Make the Siblings Win
13-12-2015 | Posted By: Admin | 1129 View(s)
“I wish I were the only child…” the words are heartbreaking for the parents, but the truth of most families is that there is more than one child. Siblings can be the best of friends and quite a handful to keep away from one other when a fight is on their minds. The cause of siblings rivalry can be many; There cannot be one single reason that you can point out for the quarrels. The oldest child feels robbed of all the love, care, and be in the centre of everyone’s attention when the new baby arrives.
Learning to Share
Sharing becomes an issue because earlier the child never had the concept of sharing. But with the arrival of the second baby, he has to learn the concepts of sharing, understanding and giving some space to the new one. The elder child has to accept the fact that the parents will be spending more time with the newborn child and that he has to share not only his toys but his parents too. Most children have difficulty in accepting this fact. All children have a unique personality. One may be headstrong while the other more introvert. These differences may be difficult to adjust which lead to the problems.
Be Fair and square during Siblings Rivalry
Children sometimes have special needs which parents must attend to. So when one gets special help, the other quarrels until they start understanding why the special treatment is meted out to one of them. Being fair is always an issue with children. They always feel that they should get what the other is getting. But that may not be the case every time. Different children have different needs according to age or situation which a parent rightfully decides. Rivalry triggers from these issues but if not handled properly in time then it can take disastrous proportions and can even lead to a lifelong rivalry and fight between the two children.
Allow them to sort it out
Parents should refrain from intervening in siblings rivalry and let the children sort it out themselves. But if the quarrel turns into a fight then you must intervene to stop it. Negotiation and compromise are two golden words that the children need to learn but try telling that to them after the fight is over. Chances are they will not listen to you at that time. Never take a judgmental stand, rather clearly lay down the problem and ask them to come up with solutions. Try to make some standing rules that should include no name-calling, hitting, or breaking things. If they break the rules, then let the children decide the consequences.
Every Child is Unique
The comparison should always be avoided. Each child is unique and should be treated that way. Comparisons only create greater resentment and rift between the children which is not good. Sharing is important, but you should not ask them to share everything. Let each child have something special for themselves. Also, try to take their opinion on matters affecting the entire family so that the child feels important. Lastly, your kids need some individual and quality time from you to make up for the day’s imagined injustices against them, give them that and rest assured it will go a long way in sorting out Siblings rivalries.
